The Circus Maximus, for those who may not know, was the largest entertainment forum in ancient Rome. It was also a place of exceptional cruelty, something I was given a taste of last evening when several malicious comments & statements directed towards me, were posted on a popular cosmetics forum. I wasn’t planning on writing a post like this today, but then something happened: I was hated on…and it stung. A lot. Then it got me to thinking. A lot. Does an open forum where people from all walks of life come together to share ideas, give you the right to be so negative? Apparently, it does. What a colossal waste of energy, in my opinion.
When I began my blog a little over a year ago, I did it for me. Not to snag free products, not to catapult myself into fame, not because I was paid to. For me, because I have this crazy infatuation with all things beauty, and I love to write. My background is in English literature and I guess some of that does colour the way I see things and how I express them. I also put down some guidelines for myself, as to which direction I wanted my blog to go towards, and one thing I decided early on, was that no matter what, I would not deliberately denigrate a product (or a person, for that matter), simply because I could; it doesn’t take a lot of thought to tear something or someone to shreds…but it does take a lot more effort to try and find something good or a positive side to things. Karma, is an interesting concept and one I really believe in: the more positive energy you put out, the more will return to you, but the reverse is true as well, with the more negative energy you indulge in, the more you’ll be surrounded with. I choose to be positive.
I considered just letting this incident go without any mention whatsoever, but I’ve never shied away from confrontation in my life, so I refused to let myself be beaten by a group of nameless & faceless people…plus, I’ve always been the type to stand up for what I believe in. I realized several things; 1) it’s easy to be incredibly mean from the safety net of anonymity where you’re not facing the person you’re trying to tear down, 2) group hate can be very contagious, 3) perhaps there was a kernel of truth somewhere in all the venom spewing and lastly, but most importantly, 4) there’s an equal amount (if not more) of incredibly warm-hearted people out there, who showed me their support.
My husband, after seeing how sad this incident made me, comforted me for a while, then told me that I need to develop a ‘thicker skin’ as it probably won’t be the last time something like this happens; when you put yourself out there, you do leave yourself open to basically anything, and he is 100% correct. After a decent night’s sleep, I also realized that I shouldn’t define myself by what total strangers think of me, but to focus on what I can do to improve and grow, and by taking all the hate and turning it into constructive criticism.
That you can’t please everyone, is a fact — but it should also be stated that you shouldn’t even try to please everyone: that’s an impossibility. So, where does that leave me? Well, for one, I feel much stronger about myself today which leads me to understand that some hate can also be a good thing; it helps ground you by forcing you to really take a look at things (and people) around you see where you’re at, it rallies those who care about you and creates a huge bubble of “positivity” as a result, and more importantly, you need hate in order to be able to recognize good when you see it, or then how else can you compare? After all, you know what they say “any publicity is good publicity”!
To all the people who took the time to send me all those kinds words via Twitter, I thank you from the bottom of my heart…every bit of support really and truly helped.
And now, I will put this behind me and move on…..after all, swatches wait for no one!
*Image credit
70 Responses to Circus Maximus, or where the “haters” come out to play…